To make love logical and link it directly to sex is to say that it will end when there is no more sex. “I love my girlfriend and she loves me, why can’t I have sex with her?”
This question certainly crosses many passionate minds, as love launches us into adventures of emotion, joy and pleasure. And, therefore, we can think that sex would end this climax well. We run the risk of turning this adventure into a mathematical equation and concluding: I love her + she loves me = sex.
Sex is part of love
It’s not quite like that. Sex is in love, but love is not . It would be too much to reduce the beauty of love to just one dimension, that is, the physical. Love goes further, it is not just a surrender of the body, but, above all, a surrender of the soul, of history and complicity.
Making a logic of love and linking it directly to sex is saying that it will end when there is no more sex! And there? Was it really love?
God, so perfect, took something so beautiful, which is sex, and elevated it to the dignity of an altar, that is, he placed it within the sacrament. He reserved the best time and place for it to be experienced as the culmination of a long adventure for two. And then I ask you the question: “If I really love my girlfriend, why can’t I wait for the right moment to give myself completely and, thus, be able to receive her completely in God’s blessing?”
If it’s love, there’s waiting, because true love waits
Often, in order not to lose their body, girls allow them to go on a real “hunt” on their bodies. But we know that, deep down, they don’t want to be used like that, they want to be loved for who they are and not for the body they have. In fact, for fear of being rejected, they follow a path that is not very cool.
Many women are also afraid of offending or losing their boyfriend if they don’t give in to his sexual demands. Such insecurities must be overcome if you want to be loved as you deserve. Instead of worrying about being abandoned if you don’t give in, let him worry about losing you if he insists on not respecting you! If this one needs progress to continue, then it didn’t start the right way! If he places this condition on being with you, it is because, in truth, he has never been with you for who you are, but rather for what you can offer.
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In the same way, many of us guys are afraid of feeling diminished in front of a girl when we put the “brakes” on the way we date. It’s as if, to be a real man, we always need to be ready for the opposing team’s goal! It’s not like that, it shouldn’t be like that. We also need, even if it is difficult, to put our desire for real love at the forefront of dating. Being a real man means knowing how to possess and give yourself, to love and never want to use! “Live this time of courtship in the confident expectation of this gift that must be accepted by following a path of knowledge, respect, and attention that you must never lose: only under this condition will the language of love remain significant even as the years go by” (Pope Benedict XVI).
Sexuality
We can come to a sad conclusion: many women give sex to hear “I love you” and many men say “I love you” to have sex! And there are still those who say that there must be fire for the relationship to be worth it, otherwise it becomes too dull. Unfortunately, people like this have not entered the school of love and base all the beauty of dating and the richness of what the other person is on a physical aspect. This is part of it, but it has a moment and a way of being lived, right?
Before you want to discover her body, how about spending your dating time probing the depths of her heart? So, when the time comes, it will not just be a meeting of bodies, but of souls and in the blessing of God!