Introduction
Sex in Christian marriage is one of the hottest and most controversial topics that can be talked about. On the one hand, many people believe that sex in Christianity is completely different from sex outside of it. This is not completely true, since sex implies an interrelationship between a man and a woman with all the implications that this carries with it.
Some believe that sex in marriage has been influenced by modern trends, the mass media, and especially the Internet. According to the traditional church, there are several aspects of sex that can even be considered sinful, and that it should be carried out solely for the purpose of procreation.
But there is also the other current, the secular one, which interprets sex in a completely different way. In this current, there is the idea that there must be true personal fulfillment through a sexual practice without limits. This is the primary reason for this article; We will study what sex truly is within Christian marriage from the Biblical perspective.
Influences and extremes
There really are many influences today regarding sex, there are two extremes that oppose each other. We have the Catholic effect where the erotic is completely sinful. On the other hand we have the idea of the secular side where sex has a very important aspect in people’s lives.
Reaching such an extreme that it is considered something really necessary in people’s lives. There cannot be a full sexual relationship in a marriage, without eroticism being included. A sexual relationship cannot be conceived without eroticism.
Marriage has been influenced in relation to sex in extreme ways. On the one hand, the Catholic effect, where eroticism is seen as sinful. On the other hand, growing secularism has accompanied the belief that there is no true personal fulfillment without unlimited sexual practice, putting sexual satisfaction above any other value.
Sex was created by God
Something we must not forget is that sex was created by God himself (Gen 1:27) “Male and female he created them”; God did not do it alone, for the purpose of procreation, he had in mind the aspect of personal satisfaction and unity between man and woman. Paul says it clearly in 1 Corinthians 1Co 7:1-5
As for the things you wrote to me about, it would be good for a man not to touch a woman; but because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and each woman have her own husband. The husband fulfills his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The woman does not have power over her own body, but her husband does; nor does the husband have power over her own body, but the wife does. Do not deny each other, except for a time of mutual consent, to occupy yourself calmly in prayer; and come together again as one, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your incontinence.
When Paul says that the woman does not have power over her own body, but the husband does; He is not talking about erotic limitations that have to be placed between the man and the woman, but he is talking about the man having to fulfill his marital duty with the woman.
Outside of marriage it has no meaning
And when this sexual act exists, it is assumed that they will not do it dressed, they have to be completely naked, and to carry out the sexual act the erotic factor must exist. God Himself is approving it in (Gen 1:31) when he says “and God saw everything that he had made, and behold, he was very good.” At this stage God is talking about sex in marriage, not outside of it. We can see it clearly in the book of proverbs Pro 6:32-33
But he who commits adultery lacks understanding; He corrupts his soul who does this. He will find wounds and shame, and his shame will never be erased.
As we can see, sex outside of marriage is something that really does not make sense, the Bible says “he who committed adultery lacks understanding.” So we can see that the sex that gave two approval is that of marriage, not that the one who wants to leave was his, because the Bible says that he who does this “corrupts his soul.” Up to this point we have not found anything that speaks of the aspect or erotic, on the contrary, says “do not deny each other, except for a time of mutual consent.”
Mint and heart
It is understood that for sexual practice the genital organs must be involved, as well as the mind and heart. All this within the marriage commitment. The only limitation that we can find within this marital relationship are those that the couple sets as limits; The man does not have the right to use sexual practices that go against the morals of his wife, nor can the woman ask her husband for things that do not agree with the morals of her husband.
We can say that there are limits, and these are those that may be unpleasant for both of us. Among these practices we find anal sex, which can degrade the sexual relationship because it avoids looking at each other in the face, and can be very uncomfortable. Some may view anal sex as selfish, as something that perverts divine order.
Sex within marriage has specific objectives:
Sex as recognition of the couple and at the same time union in one flesh.
When the man came to his wife, the Bible says that Adam knew his wife (Gen 4:1); and he mentions it again in (Gen 4:25) “and he knew his wife again in the sand” as we can see that Adam knowing his wife is not only synonymous with carnal union, but with an intimate interrelation where they became in one flesh. How could Adam and Eve know what was good and what was bad.
At that time pornography did not exist, so we do not know what the sexual relationship between the two of them could have been, how erotic it could have been, what they really enjoyed about each other. It is through the sexual relationship with the couple that we discover each other’s body, we enter the most intimate part of the person, that is, something reserved only for spouses.
everything is involved
When we say know, we are not just talking about the genitals; It is knowing the heart, the mind, the entire being of the couple. And there cannot be this knowledge if it is not through a full sexual relationship, where the couple enjoys each other’s sexuality, their genital organs, their tastes, and even the deepest part of their hearts, which are their feelings. We can only achieve this through a full sexual relationship between spouses.
When there are differences between the couple for some reason, it is through the sexual relationship that they can enjoy full communion, feeling complemented by each other.
Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Gen. 2.24
Being one flesh expresses surrender and total knowledge of one another, becoming a unique, complete being.
Sex as something necessary in communication
I know married couples who are of legal age, who enjoy such an intimate relationship that when one of them dies, the other can no longer bear life, and soon after, they also die. These couples know each other so thoroughly that they no longer see each other simply as husband and wife, but rather as brothers, as two completely united entities, because there exists between them, through the years of sexual union, a communion so intimate that They cannot live without each other. What hurts one also hurts the other.
It is through this very intimate union through sex, daily coexistence, and communication that they can transmit information, judgements, emotions, and feelings. But in these couples the deepest form of communication that exists is the sexual act. It is a communication that is communion, which involves the whole person.
Daily life situations are reflected and communicated, in some way, during the relationship. Just as the object of communication is to understand the other, the purpose of the sexual act is to be able to understand the other in their entirety. It is necessary to talk about our sexual relationships, share how we feel, what things we like and what we don’t.
Sex as belonging
In a good marriage relationship, it is during the sexual act that the man and the woman have a sense of belonging. Therefore, lying or deception should not exist within marriage because it is a violation of this precious relationship. We can call sexual relations with another person other than the marriage partner simply and simply adultery; and it is distorting what God has established as a couple.
Sexual rights within marriage are the product of mutual giving to each other. Sexual fidelity characterizes mature marriage. This is a commitment to unity. I am my wife’s and my wife is mine. You are mine and I am yours; There is no one else between the two. In this perfect relationship there can be no division, therefore if infidelity were introduced into this relationship, the house would be divided, and a house divided will not prevail:
Matthew 12:25 says: “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.”
You cannot love two people Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; But God will judge fornicators and adulterers.”
Sex as pleasure
God had already proposed in his heart that man and woman will enjoy their sexual intimacy within marriage, we find it in the same Bible in Proverbs 5: 18-20.
“Blessed be your spring, And rejoice with the wife of your youth, Like a beloved doe and a gracious gazelle. May her caresses satisfy you at all times, And in her love always recreate yourself. And why, my son, will you walk blindly with a stranger’s wife, And embrace the bosom of a stranger?
For a marriage to fully function we have to do things on our part such as: commitment, communication, stability, satisfaction, understanding, mutual help, and especially having the ability to forgive. Only with these qualities can we find mutual satisfaction and enrichment. In marriage, both men and women have equal rights to sexual pleasure.
Sex as procreation in creation
Man is completely different from animals, since he was created in the image and likeness of God. It is for this reason that the human being has no resemblance, nor anything that resembles animal instinct. God gave man the ability to manage and control his sexual behavior.
God put man in a very special condition in the Garden of Eden, giving him the power to command all creation, to name it and make use of everything that existed. Making him vicegerent of everything created. But he gave him a very special commission and that was to multiply and bring children into the world. He told her:
And he blessed them…