How to learn to love
Loving is one of those things we only learn to do by doing. It’s like swimming, driving, dating, in other words, we only learn when we experience them. Love is learned by loving and to the extent that we love. We need to learn, through experience, to identify real love, without confusing or disguising it with other realities.
There are people who confuse feelings of possession, fear of loneliness, attachment and other things with love. There are others who only love those who correspond to their own concepts. To love is not to imprison, but rather to make free and, in freedom, bound, by virtue of love. Perfect love seeks the good of the other rather than one’s own. True love has the ability to remove the “masks”, depositing, in the other person’s heart, the possibility of being what one is.
Love means “suspending” the concepts we have about someone, and allowing them to build themselves before us with their qualities and imperfections, that is, with what they really are.
It’s not because someone else doesn’t do what we think is right that they don’t deserve our love. To love is to believe in others, even when they do not meet our expectations and idealizations. It is allowing it to be more, to go beyond our vision, which is often distorted and negative.
Appearances can be deceiving
There are many who fail to discover wonderful people because of first impressions. There are others who let “the great love” of their lives pass by because they didn’t have the patience to discover it little by little.
Knowing someone takes time, and to experience love authentically you need to have the courage to get to know someone else, spending time with them and giving them the chance to be more than what they think or say about them. Appearances can be deceiving, not everything is the way we think. Those who live open to the new always accumulate records of people who pass by, mark, teach and, above all, add new limits of understanding to our concepts.
Let us learn, in practice, to love well, because in this way we will achieve a happy life and achieve solid and deep relationships.
Love always, without fear. Always love!