Ungrateful and rebellious children are the product of poorly oriented upbringing. Perhaps they were raised too harshly or too permissively, which can significantly affect the behavior of children and especially adolescents.
Ungrateful and rebellious children, what to do about it?
The son who shows rebellious behavior may be doing it for different reasons. A very severe upbringing without love, based on constant criticism, can generate this type of attitude.
Even if the child is very obedient, before such a strict upbringing, sooner or later he will rebel, either internally or externally. The same happens if the upbringing is very permissive or liberal, since no limits have been set and the child can reproach that, pointing out that his parents were not aware of him. Which in a way may be true. But it does not justify attitudes of ingratitude and rebellion.
On the other hand, it is somewhat natural for adolescents to show a certain rebellion towards their parents, since they are gradually moving away from their families as they establish their own identity.
The rebellious child usually has a naturally strong-willed personality characterized by a tendency to test limits, a relentless desire to control, and a willful resistance to all authority.
In the same way, when talking about rebellious children, we find very intelligent individuals, who can “intuit” situations very quickly.
They can find ways to take control of circumstances and the people around them. These children can be a very stressful and exhausting challenge for their parents.
Certainly God has made children just as they are. He loves them, and he hasn’t left parents without the tools to meet the challenge.
There are biblical principles that can teach us how to deal with rebellious ungrateful children. The book of Proverbs 22:6 tells us the following: “Instruct a child in his way, and even when he is old he will not turn from it.”
In this sense, the path that parents should show our children is the path to Christ, to the admirable light. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance to instruct them in the word of God so that they can understand who God is and how they best serve him.
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When the child is rebellious and intransigent, understanding keeps him motivated and will help him to find his “way”. This child is one of those who must understand that he does not own the world, that God is the one who has absolute control of all things that exist.
However, this requires that parents be convinced of this truth and have a good testimony, because a father who is in rebellion against the Lord will not be able to convince his son that the path he should follow is Christ, much less will he be able to control your child’s temperament.
So, first of all, we must be clear that the one who implements the rules is God and the parents, for their part, are the instruments of the Lord to carry out the divine plan for their families.
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In this way, a rebellious child should be taught that the Lord’s plan is for the parents to lead and the child to follow. There can be no contradictions or uncertainties on this point. Unthankful and rebellious children can see the insecurities of the parents and will take the opportunity to fill the leadership vacuum to take control.
The principle of respecting and submitting to the authority of his parents is crucial for the rebellious child. If submission is not learned during childhood, her future will be mired in conflicts with all authorities, including teachers, bosses, police, among others. In this regard, the Bible exhorts us as follows:
“Let every person submit to the superior authorities; because there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been established by God. So whoever opposes authority, what is established by God resists; and those who resist bring condemnation to themselves.” (Romans 13:1-2)
This quote makes it clear to us that all authorities are placed by God for a purpose. Therefore we must submit to them. In the case of children, parents are the authority and that is why they must submit to them, let themselves be directed so as not to stumble or stray from the path that is Christ.
However, the rebellious child will only abide by the rules when they make some sense to him. So rules must be established for them and explained so that he can internalize their importance. If these rules are imposed in an authoritarian way, without explaining them, they simply won’t follow it and their attitude will get worse every day.
Communication is the basis of every relationship, even if we are believers and do not communicate with God through prayer, we will not obtain all the blessings that he has for us. In the same way, we as parents must communicate with our children, but not just talk to them, but listen to them, since this is very important to them.
Being taken into account, being able to express what they feel and think and that parents can be empathetic and understand them, is a great advance to improve the child’s behavior. We must not act like rigid parents who deny everything, we must negotiate with our children, give them options, so that they feel that their decisions are also taken into account.
On the other hand, parenting must be exercised with confidence and patience. Parents should try not to raise their voices, raise their hands in anger, or lose complete control of the situation. Personally, breathing can help a lot, taking time for anger to stop is important.
Going for a walk can also help when we are going through a difficult situation with our ungrateful and rebellious children. In this regard, the Bible tells us about the importance of temperance and patience: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)
In this sense, as exasperating as parenting can be, parents can rest in the promise of the Lord, who does not give us tests that we cannot bear, since he gives us the ability to resist.
If God gives us children with strong temperaments, he also gives us the necessary tools to guide them wisely. But we must be in communion with our Lord, not stop praying or reading the word. Put on the armor of Christ and protect our children from the clutches of the enemy, who takes advantage of any moment of weakness to strike.
In the end, we will take comfort in knowing that our children are well educated and have Christ in their hearts, that they have dreams and goals to achieve, that they are successful and blessed by God. That is truly rewarding for parents who have struggled with the Lord to lead their children.
6 Tips to improve communication with children
As previously expressed, communication is the basis of any relationship and parents have a great responsibility to raise their children well and for this there must be assertive communication that allows them to consolidate the relationship and obtain good results.
To provide parents with useful tools to improve communication with their children, especially if they are ungrateful and rebellious, there are 6 tips to consider:
1.- Unlink my personal history with that of my son or daughter
As parents, we must have the ability to separate our personal history from that of our son or daughter as far as possible, separating what we have experienced from our son’s or daughter’s experience, thus avoiding the pressure to achieve success. , goals of us.
It is vitally important that we manage to understand him as he is, accepting his dreams, goals and personal life projects, letting them tell their own story, allowing them to walk their own path, to make their own mistakes, to obtain their own achievements.
However, as parents we must always be present, teaching them that any dream they want to fulfill is valid, as long as it goes hand in hand with our Lord Jesus Christ, because he is the one who should guide us at all times.
It is one thing for the child to want to have his own dreams and another is for him to turn away from the Lord for that reason. We as parents are instruments of God in the upbringing of our children and our greatest responsibility is to instruct them in the word of God, which is the truth that will allow them to be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven.
This is something that we should not forget as parents because without God, we can do nothing or everything will be in vain. The rebellious and ungrateful son can even resist Christian doctrines, so we must be firm and never allow him to stray from God’s path.
2.- Avoid comparing it with others
This is an essential point in raising our children, since each person is different, has their own experiences, reacts differently, learns differently. So as parents we have to be very careful when comparing because we can hurt their feelings.
Our son has the right to walk his path in life according to his own decisions and preferences. So we must give him our full support and respect so that he has the ability to successfully deal with his own experiences.
On the other hand, when we label your personal preferences or compare you with other people, it can be a heavy burden for managing your self-concept.
In this way, we must be able to strive to respect their way of being, even if we think it is not the right one because we must act with wisdom from above. If we are authoritarian, arbitrary and strict parents, we will only get a contrary reaction.
3.- Understand their socialization patterns
It is at this point that our ability as parents to be flexible and positive can be appreciated. If our child refuses to socialize, we should not push him, as this can irritate them. As long as our son is respectful and cordial, we do not need to pressure him to socialize based on our criteria or those of the environment where he develops.
Parents who are very concerned that their children will not behave well in front of other people are simply relying on rigid socialization parameters. Showing our son that we care a lot about what others think is a way of telling them that we feel ashamed of him. Which is something that we should not allow, because it can create deep wounds in the self-esteem of the boy or girl.
So fighting for our son to act as we want him to, only causes the relationship to wear out and he is unable to adapt spontaneously to the social environment.
4.- Beware of the phrase “that I can do what I couldn’t”
One of the aspects that we must take into account is to ensure that our personal expectations do not interfere with those of our children, since this will be very limiting for their spiritual and personal growth.
That is why we must know what our true motivations are in relation to…