And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
6:4 — “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger” (“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, lest they be discouraged”, Col 3:21). There are many ways to provoke children to anger or exasperation: (1) abuse authority (being cruel, abusive both with words and deeds); (2) criticize them, and even make fun of them; (3) being unfair in discipline (administering punishment that is inappropriate, excessive or inappropriate, or motivated by anger); (4) be biased (Gen 37:3-4); (5) for using hollow threats; (6) humiliate and embarrass them unnecessarily; (7) use foolish means to “punish” (lock them in a dark room, or frighten them with lies); (8) ignore them; (9) expect too much of them (as if they were adults); in short, the parents themselves, if they are not mature, can provoke their children to anger or exasperate. Parents are often more “kids” than children. —”But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “discipline” encompasses the entire process of raising and training children. Spoiled children will have a life of misery. “The spoiled boy will shame his mother” (pro 29:15). The word “spoiled” in this text means “left alone”. Says the Modern Version, “left to self-government.” In Job 39:5 this word is translated “set free” (“Who set the wild ass free, and who loosed its bonds?”) Children should not run free like the “wild ass”; It does not suit them. For it is not for your well-being, but for your downfall. Parents, to obey this commandment, must set a good example in everything. Children learn a lot from the example of their parents. Therefore, they must be faithful and constant always in speech, in conduct, in attendance at church meetings, in personal work, and even in their attitude. There must be peace and harmony in the home, because the environment in which our children are raised is a very important factor in their upbringing. Furthermore, parents should diligently instruct their children. They should not depend on the church, but should accept the responsibility that God has given them. Read carefully the following texts on this subject: Gen 18:19; Deu 6:5-9; 2Ti 1:5; 2Ti 3:14-15. The important thing is that each child has convictions, that he believes with all his heart and that he loves God with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his strength, and with all his mind. He must be well instructed, so that he does not fall into sectarian error. To be sure of this, parents should encourage children to express themselves, to make comments, to ask questions or to express doubts. Many parents assume that their children believe when, in fact, they are unbelieving or indifferent. read Job 1:5. It is very important that each child be taught, trained and corrected according to his own individuality. Many parents have problems with their children because they do not fulfill this duty. He says Pro 22:6, “Train up a child in his way and even when he is old he will not depart from it”. The expression “in his way” may be translated “according to his way”; that is, according to the nature of the child, according to his age, his mentality, his genius, his disposition and aptitudes. Each child is an individual, different and unique; he must be taught and guided according to his own mentality, capacity (aptitudes) and disposition. Children cannot be raised “in groups”, without giving them individual attention. Correction must be strictly correct, no more, no less. Read again how parents can provoke their children to anger. The son must obey, and when he obeys, he must be praised and encouraged. He must know that obedience pleases God and his parents. He must also learn that disobedience is not tolerated, and will be punished. Parents should not require or forbid anything if they do not expect obedience. A very big problem at home is that parents always order and prohibit lightly, and do not demand that their children pay attention to them. Read carefully the texts in Proverbs about correction: 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13, 14; Y 29:15. They are very practical advice, and good comments on Eph 6:4. (The notes presented here on Eph 5:22-33; Eph 6:1-4 they are found in expanded form in a study on the home by this server. It is sent free to those who ask for it.)
Source: Commentary on the New Testament by Partain
Parents, do not provoke anger. Gen 31:14, Gen 31:15; 1Sa 20:30-34; Col 3:21.
to your children. Gen 18:19; Exo 12:26, Exo 12:27; Exo 13:14, Exo 13:15; Deu 4:9; Deu 6:7, Deu 6:20-24; Deu 11:19-21; Josh 4:6, Josh 4:7; Josh 4:21-24; Josh 24:15; 1Ch 22:10-13; 1Ch 28:9, 1Ch 28:10, 1Ch 28:20; 1Ch 29:19; Ps 71:17; Ps 71:18; Ps 78:4-7; Pro 4:1-4; pro 19:18; Pro 22:6, Pro 22:15; Pro 23:13, pro 23:14; pro 29:15, Pro 29:17; Isaiah 38:19; 2Ti 1:5; 2Ti 3:15; Hebrews 12:7-10.
Source: The Treasury of Biblical Knowledge
FATHERS SONS. See ARTICLE PARENTS AND CHILDREN, P. 1716. for a more extensive study on the role of fathers in raising children.
Source: Full Life Study Bible
fathers. In a technical sense, the word only refers to males, but it was also used to refer to the father and mother of a child. Since Paul had spoken about both parents (vv. Eph 6:1-3) probably had both of them in mind here. The same word is used in Hebrews 11:23 to allude to the parents of Moses. do not provoke In the pagan world of Paul’s day, and even in many Jewish households, most parents ruled each other’s household with rigid, domineering authority. The wishes and welfare of the wife and children were rarely considered. The apostle makes it clear that a Christian father’s authority over his children does not give rise to unreasonable demands and coercion that could arouse anger, despair, and resentment in the children. discipline and admonition of the Lord. This is a call for systematic discipline and instruction that train children to respect the Lord’s commands as the firm foundation for leading a godly and blessed life. cop. pro 13:24; Hebrews 12:5-11.
Source: MacArthur Study Bible
6:4 — “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger” (“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, lest they be discouraged,” Col 3:21).
There are many ways to anger or exasperate children: (1) abuse authority (being cruel, abusive both with words and deeds); (2) criticize them, and even make fun of them; (3) being unfair in discipline (administering punishment that is inappropriate, excessive or inappropriate, or motivated by anger); (4) be partial (Gen 37:3-4); (5) for using hollow threats; (6) humiliate and embarrass them unnecessarily; (7) use foolish means to “punish” (lock them in a dark room, or frighten them with lies); (8) ignore them; (9) expect too much of them (as if they were adults); in short, the parents themselves, if they are not mature, can provoke their children to anger or exasperate. Parents are often more “kids” than children.
—”But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The word “discipline” encompasses the entire process of raising and training children. Spoiled children will have a life of misery. “A spoiled boy will shame his mother” (Pro 29:15). The word “spoiled” in this text means “left alone”. Says the Modern Version, “left to self-government.” In Job 39:5 this word is translated “set free” (“Who set the wild donkey free, and who loosed his bonds?”) Children are not to run free like the “wild donkey”; It does not suit them. For it is not for your well-being, but for your downfall.
Parents, to obey this commandment, must set a good example in everything. Children learn a lot from the example of their parents. Therefore, they must be faithful and constant always in speech, in conduct, in attendance at church meetings, in personal work, and even in their attitude.
There must be peace and harmony in the home, because the environment in which our children are raised is a very important factor in their upbringing.
Furthermore, parents should diligently instruct their children. They should not depend on the church, but should accept the responsibility that God has given them. Read carefully the following texts on this subject: Gen 18:19; Deu 6:5-9; 2Ti 1:5; 2Ti 3:14-15. The important thing is that each son has convictions, that he believes with all his heart and that he loves God with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his strength, and with all his mind. He must be well instructed, so that he does not fall into sectarian error. To be sure of this, parents should encourage children to express themselves, to make comments, to ask questions or to express doubts. Many parents assume that their children believe when, in fact, they are unbelieving or indifferent. Read Job 1:5.
It is very important that each child is taught, trained and corrected according to his own individuality. Many parents have problems with their children because they do not fulfill this duty. Pro 22: 6 says, “Train up a child in his way, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” The expression “in his way” may be translated “according to his way”; that is, according to the nature of the child, according to his age, his mentality, his genius, his disposition and aptitudes. Each child is an individual, different and unique; he must be taught and guided according to his own mentality, capacity (aptitudes) and disposition. Children cannot be raised “in groups”, without giving them individual attention.
Correction must be strictly correct, no more, no less. Read again how parents can provoke their children to anger. The son must obey, and when he obeys, he must be praised and encouraged. He must know that obedience pleases God and his parents. He must also learn that disobedience is not tolerated, and will be punished. Parents should not require or forbid anything if they do not expect obedience. A very big problem at home is that parents always order and prohibit lightly, and do not demand that their children pay attention to them.
Read carefully the texts in Proverbs about correction: 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13, 14; and 29:15. They are very practical advice, and good comments on Eph 6:4.
(The notes presented here on Eph 5:22-33; Eph 6:1-4 are found in expanded form in a home study by me. Sent free to those who ask.)
Source: Reeves-Partain Notes
As we have noted before in other mandates, this one also first mentions the negative side, what must be avoided, and then indicates the positive, what must be done. Both aspects complement and explain each other. We could say that the best way to avoid provoking anger in our children is to raise them according to the standards that the Lord has entrusted to us. Without this reciprocity, good family formation is not possible.
It is interesting that the word used here (Gr. pateres) is not the same as that used in v. Eph 6:1 (gr. goneusin). The latter is used in a generic sense to refer to the father and to…