Countless people get married deluded, thinking that what they feel is love for the other, however, when crises arrive, financial problems or even when just time passes, they realize that the one they chose was not exactly what they expected. That love that seemed beautiful, infinite, becomes a weight, a disappointment, a burden to be carried throughout your life or until you can no longer bear it.
Some time ago, a magazine with large national circulation reported that 30% of marriages end within the first year, and 50% will end between the second and third years of marriage. It is, indeed, a sad reality. The truth is that we are invited by God to reflect His love in the world, especially in the relationship between man and woman, as each couple, each family has a divine plan, unique and blessed by the Father.
Marriage, when lived together with God, can be renewed every day, so that we no longer live just next to each other, but for each other, because, in your project of happiness, we do not marry someone just to to be happy or to fulfill our desires, but rather to make others happy, to fulfill their desires, their dreams. It may seem like the order of the sentence is reversed, but that’s right, because when God is part of a relationship, love takes on a new dimension. Therefore, good preparation during and during the engagement helps us to be clear that there are differences between a union based on love and one based solely on passion.
The difference between love and passion
Love normally appears calmly, serenely, and tends to grow little by little. With it, we are not afraid to be transparent, showing what we think or feel, without fear of our defects. In love, friendship, understanding, the presence of the other is more important than appearance or physical attraction, because just being together is enough. Love is unique, true and, and is always recognized by others who notice that we have changed or feel firm in the relationship.
Passion, on the contrary, usually appears like a flash of lightning, making it seem like we are going to die of love. It’s something fulminant, and despite seeming very strong, it’s also very fast. In it, we try to show only our qualities and be what we believe will please others. We are afraid to reveal our flaws. The physique and appearance are fundamental and there is a huge desire to touch the other’s body. In passion, you can like more than one person at the same time, and “hooking up” with others is very normal. Jealousy is excessive and infidelity is always justifiable. It usually generates a lot of intrigue with family and friends and many realize that the relationship will not work.
It’s a real danger to structure a relationship based solely on the fire of passion, but what do we do if we mix things up? Couples should try to live the charity proposed by Saint Paul and already repeated in several songs: “Love is patient, it is kind. He is not jealous and he is not proud. It is neither arrogant nor scandalous. Does not seek its own interests, does not get angry or hold grudges. He does not rejoice in the truth, but rejoices in the truth. Everything excuses, everything believes, everything hopes, everything supports. Love will never end” (cf. I Cor 13:4-8)
Couples must learn to walk together
Couples, no matter how good they are, should not walk alone, believing that they know or can do everything. Crises will always exist, however, it is how they are resolved that will determine the success or otherwise of the marriage. It is essential to have the same life project and always seek the presence of our Lord, believing in his divine intervention to help us on our difficult journey together.
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It is not passion, but true love that teaches us, every day, to always forgive, understand each other, be patient with the other’s limitations and mistakes, overcoming self-pride, enduring suffering for the good of the relationship . Turning to God, through prayer, is fundamental for a relationship weakened by simple passion to transform into true self-giving love.
Marco and Susy