Each human being is unique and has countless possibilities to experience the most diverse situations. From our earliest childhood memories, we accumulate the most memorable experiences throughout our lives; generally, those that provoked the greatest emotion.
A birthday party, that long-awaited walk, a trip, bike falls, games with cousins, a special gift. These are sweet memories that take us back to a time when children’s eyes were more alert to the details and charms of the new, the beautiful.
However, our memory is not only filled with good memories. We talk a lot about traumatic events experienced at different stages of child development, but there are also those that occur during the critical passage through adolescence and those that we face in adulthood.
Traumas from the past can directly interfere with our present
This other side of the coin tends to be more difficult to elaborate. It causes pain to remember the suffering of physical or emotional violence, the loss of a loved one, as well as feelings of helplessness, loneliness and despair. Some even claim to remember the details of the trauma so clearly that they could relate everything “as if it were today”. When they say this phrase, they are telling the truth.
Certain people carry the burden of pain that ends up weighing more as time passes. The memory becomes like a pet, something to be remembered so as not to fall into oblivion or to feed some feeling of victimization. Others, on the contrary, try to forget, at all costs, the traumatic events that appear as unwanted flashes at times. Sometimes they put a blanket over the past and try to live as if this pain didn’t exist. It is even possible that some seek refuge in , with the desire to find momentary comfort.
Dirt of the soul
Firstly, it is important to deal with the uncomfortable situation in an open and transparent way. Talking about the subject can help in elaborating on what happened, especially if the event took place in childhood or adolescence. The adult you are today can support and console the child you were and who did not have the internal resources to deal with the situation at that time. Embrace the pain, recognize it and, if an emotion arises, open yourself to crying that can wash away the dirt from your soul.
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This can be a painful and long process. However, we are talking about the quality of your life, the freedom that you deserve to experience by removing this weight from your shoulders, which slows your steps.
Dark and cold terrain
As you walk through these dark and cold terrains, you will be able to shed a light of understanding, a warm breath that, little by little, will bring new meanings to your story. If any step is too difficult, be patient with yourself, but don’t stop! Ask God for the grace you need to face these pains, count on the help of other people or professionals who can help you in this process.
In the end, you may discover that forgiveness – of others and of yourself – is possible and leaves you free to live without resentment and hatred. Perhaps, you will find an interior that you did not imagine you had and a serene look may appear on your face, along with a wider smile. It will be worth discovering a new way of visiting your past and dealing with the pain that seemed eternal.