HoHum:
David Slagle, a minister at a small church in Atlanta, tells the story of a woman in her 20s. The woman had befriended a man who lived in her apartment complex. Slagle and his wife asked if the two were dating. The man in question was a known atheist. The young woman replied, “No, I’m not going out with him. He is just a good friend. We’re just hanging out. He could never date someone who doesn’t value what I value. A few months later, she announced that they were dating, but that she would not commit to him “unless he became a Christian.” A few months after that, Slagle says, she too “changed her mind on that.”
WBTUs:
This story is not uncommon. According to a 2010 survey of 2,500 married Americans, about 42% of marriages today are between people of two different faiths. This is an all-time high. While this shows a lot of tolerance and assimilation in American society, it has created problems for churches and marriages. Unequally yoked marriages are generally less satisfying than marriages in which both partners are Christians.
Interestingly, in this survey we find that unequally yoked marriages discuss religion and doctrine very little. Now they disagree on many issues, such as schedules, money, and parenting. The problem is that the practices and rituals of our different religions affect our daily lives and therefore our marriages. Our faith dictates how we spend our time, how we spend our money, where we choose to live, and how we raise our children. Disagreements on these issues can lead to unhappiness and maybe even divorce. But like Slagle’s young friend, many of us are becoming less ‘intentional’. about who we marry.
The two become one, not only physically but also spiritually. The Bible affirms the marriage bond when it states that a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever is still a marriage. This is why Paul and Peter command believers to stay with their unbelieving spouses. In our days, many spend more and more time away from their family of origin and from a religious community such as the church. Later these people want to return to the faith of their youth or find some kind of religious faith. Reviewing apologetics material with Lee Strobel. Lee’s wife became a Christian and Lee was an atheist. That’s not what I’m talking about tonight. I am talking about a Christian looking to marry a non-Christian.
Unequally yoked is a term used to describe many damaging relationships between Christians and non-Christians, but especially the marriage of a Christian to a non-Christian. When Matthew and Mark write about men and women being “joined” by God in marriage (Matthew 19:6- Therefore what God has joined together, let not man put asunder), they use a Greek word with “yoke” as their root. This root is the same one used in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be yoked with unbelievers.” In other words, the verbs in Matthew 19, Mark 10, and 2 Corinthians 6 are all related. God has “joined” male and female together in a one-flesh relationship. The NT tells us that such relationships are the business of the church.
Marriage is a picture of the union between Christ and his church. Both husband and wife are accountable to the church for the marriage. But in the marriage of a believer with an unbeliever, the church has authority and discipling ability over only one party. The marriage of a follower of Christ with an unbeliever hinders the intimacy of a union that, from the beginning, had as its objective a common mission under the rule of a common King. Remember Genesis 1:27-29
We live in the world as it is, and we love our unbelieving neighbor. Christians will be attracted to some of these unbelievers and will want to join them in marriage. That’s where we as a church say the hard word that marriage is not just about romance, but also about the gospel and mission. Some will hear this and walk away angry and saddened. But some will hear in these harsh words the voice they heard at the beginning of their Christian life: “Then Jesus said…“If anyone wants to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24, NIV.
Thesis: Reasons why a believer should not marry a non-believer
For example:
Christians and non-Christians are spiritually incompatible – 2Co 6:14-7:1
A. There is a downside and a upside to this. First the negative. The body of a Christian is a temple of the Holy Spirit where God dwells. It is not appropriate to be physically attached to an unbeliever in this way. It would be like building a passageway between a temple of God and a temple of the devil.
B. Unbelievers are not spiritually neutral. “As for you, you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you lived when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit that is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them from time to time, gratifying the desires of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like everyone else, we were by nature objects of anger.” Ephesians 2:1-3, NIV.
The unbelievers are spiritually dead (v.1). They follow the ways of this world (v.2). His threads are managed by “the prince of the kingdom of the air” (v.2). At critical points, Satan “pulls the strings.” We will have someone in our home heavily controlled by Satan, influencing us and our children. The conduct of unbelievers is in accordance with a lower set of principles called “the flesh” or &# 8220; the sinful nature.”
C. Not only is there an ongoing battle in Christians between the Holy Spirit and the flesh “Because the sinful nature desires that which is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit that which is contrary to the sinful nature, they are in conflict with each other. with the other, so that you do not do what you want.” Galatians 5:17, NIV, but being unequally yoked with an unbeliever there is also a battle between spouses. We will be in a tug of war for life! Nan Harris, a wise old woman, was locked up due to severe arthritis. She would visit her from time to time. She appreciated the moments of conversation we had. She was in her 90s and had been a pillar in the church, but she was now unable to attend. A few months before my wedding, I went to visit her as usual. Mrs. Harris’ husband had died several years before and all of her children were raised. I knew that she could give me some useful advice. I asked him: “In a few months I’m getting married. Do you have any good advice for me?” She thought for a few moments and said something so simple yet so profound. “Make sure you’re both pulling on the same end of the rope.” I have often been reminded of it in my marriage. If we can’t pull on the same end of the rope, we’ll end up pulling against each other.
Non-Christians will influence Christians to abandon the faith
“As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly devoted to Jehovah his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 1 Kings 11:4, NIV.
When we marry someone we become “one flesh” with him and are transformed by him. We look more and more like them and they look more and more like us. Marrying an unbeliever is like marrying someone with a dose of spiritual ‘flu’. We continue to pass on spiritual ailments from him and because we are so close to them we continue to be “reinfected”. Unfortunately, goodness and virtue don’t seem to be as contagious as sin and spiritual apathy. Solomon did not improve his wives, quite the contrary. We can be wiser than Solomon if we stick to believers when we get married.
Go talk to the unequally yoked in the morning to offer them strength and encouragement. Why not do it on Sunday night? Because they are not here. They can not give of time and money as they want. You cannot serve in various ways due to the situation.
Children will have difficulties with their faith
This is talking about broken marriages, but it applies here too. “Has not Jehovah made them one? In flesh and spirit they are yours. And why one? Because he was looking for godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not fail in the faith of the woman of your youth.” Malachi 2:15, NIV.
In many homes the mother is a Christian and the father is not. Most of the studies I’ve seen show that sons follow father when it comes to faith.
Causes problems in the extended family
“Then Rebekah said to Isaac: &# 8220;I am sick of living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a wife from among the women of this land, from the Hittites like these, my life will not be worth living.”” Genesis 27:46, NIV. Why did Rebecca say this? Because Esau, her other son, married several pagan women.
Just when they should have been celebrating the grandchildren, they were deeply hurt. Unbelieving couples often cause real pain to the Christian couple’s family. His ways are simply not Christian and can create hurt, pain, and discord.
Conclusion:
One objection to prohibiting Christians from marrying non-Christians is that we see something good coming out of it. The unbeliever becomes a Christian in some cases. God can bring something good out of anything. Think of Joseph in Egypt: “You thought to do me harm, but God directed it to good to carry out what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20, NIV. But what led to this was not good, it was sin. We should never advocate sin.
The most important relationship for a Christian is our relationship with Jesus Christ. Any other relationship is secondary. If a believer marries an unbeliever, he is choosing to ignore what God says about being unequally yoked. It is never wise to ignore God’s Word, and that is certainly the case in a matter as fundamental as marriage.