Lord, what do you want me to do?…
God created us with free will. His intention was to leave us free to decide, receive or reject the power of his love. Starting the Christian life, we need to answer the question daily: Who is in control of my life?
It is not easy to follow God’s guidance and let him be the Lord of our lives. We often think we know what is best for us and doubt its direction. We believe it is impossible to do what God asked of us, but if He asked, it is perfectly possible.
Maybe you are tired of fighting against God. You need to know His will in your life and work with Him and not against Him. We end up saying no to God’s will in our lives, and start fighting for power. The prophet Jonah is an example of someone who fights against God for power. Jonah hated Israel’s enemy, Assyria, whose capital was Nineveh. The Lord’s instruction was: “Arise, go to Nineveh, the great city, and speak your oracles against it, because its iniquity has come before me” (Jn1,2)
Many of us today live what Jonah lived: the battle of wills: “We are a Jonah” who always finds it difficult to say yes to the best that God has for us. He certainly questioned God: “Lord, Nineveh? The capital of the Assyrians? No Lord… You can’t be asking this of me.” That’s why he rebelled against God and fled far away. Nineveh was situated to the northwest, on the east bank of the Tigris River. Instead of going there, Jonah fled to Joppa, boarded a ship and left for Tarshish, it was the furthest place for Jonah to escape from the presence of God.
We also have our own “Tarshish and Nineveh”. Tarshish is the place of escape. Nineveh is the place of obedience, of the revelation of God’s will to us. Vinícius and I could have returned to São Paulo. He would certainly get a new job and we would continue to be engaged in the parish, in the prayer group. He could play drums, as he likes so much, in some music ministry.
For those who are in São Jose dos Campos, as we were, São Paulo is the opposite direction to Cachoeira Paulista, which meant obedience to God, but which required a lot, as it was a radical change for our family. For five years we had been reluctant to accept that this was God’s will. I was happy to feel like I was part of the family, to work as a representative of this Work of God, but God called me to work as someone who gives his life fully. Nineveh is God’s call that resonates in our hearts to serve Him, to be chosen by Him and to give Him the first place in our lives. Are you running from God?
Many people flee from Him without leaving the place they are in. Some flee in many directions, but not under God’s direction. We can escape even filling our lives with good things, but we don’t leave time for Him. Tarshish can be inside our own soul! Like Jonah, perhaps you have already surrendered to God and are in Nineveh fulfilling your mission, but you are still a rebel. Imagine, Jonah would now have to change his attitude towards his enemies because they had obtained God’s forgiveness. The prayer he says expresses the feeling of anger that was in his heart.
At the end of the book of Jonah, we don’t know what happened to him. Could it be that the reason is so that we can write the ending with our own lives? Do you want to be a communicator of love or a communicator of hate, of revenge? I praise God because Vinícius and I did not go to Tarshish, returning to São Paulo, but we followed God’s guidance and went to Nineveh: Cachoeira Paulista.
Jesus, give me the grace to be persevering in my consecration, never letting me run before You, revolted like Jonah.