The other day, I went to buy a pair of pants and the saleswoman asked me: “Do you prefer slim, fit or skinny?”. I replied: “Don’t you have any jeans?”
In the past, a man’s concern with his aesthetics was limited to cutting his hair and shaving; today, it goes much further than that. We have increasingly seen men adopting cosmetics, products and services specifically for men.
A few years ago, male vanity was not common; Today, however, it has taken on large proportions
Yes! We can say that today’s man has learned to be vain, and what, a few years ago, we could only imagine a woman doing, has now become a common procedure of male vanity.
There is a positive side to this, without a doubt! Taking care of yourself means good self-esteem and better sociability, after all, interacting with a person who brings content is even better if that person is well presentable. Therefore, there was an evolution of man himself when interpreting himself. But I wonder: isn’t there an excess of vanity? To what extent are men mischaracterizing masculine identity and failing to assume their role in society?
Let’s analyze this issue considering, firstly, that beauty is among the main characteristics of men, but for men, it is a somewhat secondary attribute.
Male and female beauty in Sacred Scripture
When Holy Scripture speaks of this quality in men, it places it after other traits with which God is pleased in a person. Before listing the beauty of Joseph of Egypt (cf. Gn 39, 6b), the Bible tells a large part of his story, implying that he had the Lord’s blessing for his humility, fidelity and for doing all his obligations well. (cf. Gn 39:3).
David became known as a man after the heart of the Most High, not because “he was blond, with beautiful eyes and very beautiful appearance” (I Sm 16,12), but because of his heart (cf. I Sm 16, 7), since his Brother Eliab, of “beautiful appearance and tall stature” (1 Sam 16:6), was previously presented to the prophet sent to anoint God’s chosen one, but he was not.
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The woman, however, has primacy in revealing the beauty of God.
Esther was chosen queen, even though she did not ask for more adornments than those given to her (cf. Es 2, 15), as she was a “girl of beautiful appearance and pleasant appearance” (Es 2,7).
Judith was not killed by the king who had fought against her people, because, immediately upon seeing her, “Holofernes became captive of his eyes”. The book of Ecclesiastes also deals with, in chapter 31, and closes this section, as if concluding the talk of beauty and its fruits.
Different vocations
For a woman, being beautiful has the power to authenticate, certify her own value. It is an essential aspect of her existence. However, for us men, if someone tells us that we are gaining weight, that we look older than our real age or that we are ugly, the vast majority of us will “take it in stride” without worrying too much.
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Man, in turn, must reveal God’s strength in his ability to cope. In the Old Testament, God was called the Lord of hosts, that is, a warrior. Man has the vocation of being a warrior. How many times since childhood have we sought approval from our peers and ourselves for the challenges they imposed on us? See that in this there was a sign of what we have at our core, as our first vocation. We are fighters, warriors.
Masculinity
A is a gift that is born in man, but is brought to the surface through rites of passage and taught by a male figure (father) through confrontation. However, a series of factors do not promote this validation in men today. Unfortunately, many only have a reference to their mother or a weak father figure; then, feminine values prevail.
I think that, when a man goes to great lengths to seek approval and praise for his appearance, unconsciously, he really wants to authenticate his strength, his ability to achieve and stand out among others; deep down, this corresponds to the human recognition that is given to the warrior who is in his essence.
Talking about deconstruction, psychologist Arlene Denise Bacarji says: “The roles, often highlighted by children’s toys, colors, etc. (external signs, therefore, we can also include clothing, care, services and products) are extremely important for a healthy psyche, so that the person can build their identity, including sexual identity”.
How long do I stay in front of the mirror?
So I ask you and me too: of the things I use and do, how many are common to the female sex? Or how many are adapted “giving a feminine air” to the silhouette and image?
How long do I stay in front of the mirror? Don’t I miss the opportunity to see my reflection when I’m on the street and outside the house? Do I go out even without worrying about being adequate to be with others?
Starting with these questions, we can get a sign of how we are proceeding. We must be careful with what fashion wants to impose, so as not to be in the direction of the world and against masculinity. Before joining something, we can think about what is genuinely ours.