The history: A recent survey shows that pornography is affecting relationships between men and women and reveals how the consumption of pornography is becoming an acceptable sin.
The context: The Wheatley Institution of Brigham Young University and the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture commissioned a national survey on dating and pornography. The survey finds that the majority of men and women in a national sample express some level of approval of the use of pornography.
The survey consisted of two national data sets: one with individuals in dating relationships and a second with couples in which both partners or spouses completed the survey. The results show who is more likely to consume pornography, both individually and as a couple.
In dating relationships, women were almost twice as likely as men to never view pornography (36% vs. 19%). Men were also more than two and a half times more likely to view pornography alone on a weekly pattern compared to women.
Among married people, only a quarter of married men reported not using pornography recently, while more than half of married women reported not using it in the last year. A third of married men reported frequent use, but less than 1 in 16 married women reported similar levels. Men under the age of 30 are nearly two and a half times more likely to view pornography on a daily basis than their older peers: 17.3% vs. 6.9% for men over the age of 30.
Nearly one in three men agree that it is acceptable for teens to view pornography, compared to just one in 10 women. Approximately half of men and women agree that viewing pornography is acceptable for adults. The only exception is married women, who are generally less accepting of pornography than men or women in dating relationships.
One in five couples (20%) reported some degree of conflict in their relationships due to pornography. In addition, one in four men reported having hidden from their partner that they viewed pornography. A significant number of women expressed concern about their partner viewing pornography, with almost one in three respondents stating that they were concerned that their partner would be more attracted to pornography and that their partner would think about pornography while having sex intimate.
Nearly one in three dating women and one in four married men and women agreed that they were concerned that their partner was hiding details about their pornography use from them.
Couples where both report not using pornography report the highest levels of relationship stability, commitment, and satisfaction. At least 90% of these couples state that their relationship is stable, committed, and fulfilling for them as a couple.
Couples who both report not using pornography report the highest levels of relationship stability, commitment, and satisfaction
In contrast, as the frequency of pornography consumption increases, relationship stability, commitment, and satisfaction consistently decrease. The lowest levels of relationship quality were consistent in couples with a similar level of consumption between members (both monthly users and daily users) and couples with a consumption gap between partners.
Compared with couples who avoided pornography, couples where men used pornography regularly and women used it occasionally were 18% less likely to report their relationship as stable, 20% less likely to be strongly committed and 18% fewer report having high relationship satisfaction. Although not a common pattern, couples who both view pornography on a daily basis have a 45% decrease in stability and 30% decrease in commitment levels, compared to couples where neither partner watch pornography.
The research also found that romantic partners now seem to use pornography not just as isolated individual behavior, but as a regular part of their intimacy as a couple. Overall, about one in five men in relationships reported viewing pornography with their partner at least weekly.
What does it mean: The fact that hidden consumption of pornography causes conflict in marriage will not be surprising to Christians. Over the past few decades we have developed, as a community, programs and strategies to help couples in such situations. Unfortunately, the struggle can be even greater when the consumption of pornography No it is hidden.
One of the most disturbing conclusions from this new research is that “general acceptance of pornography consumption among adults does not appear to be merely passive acceptance.” As the researchers point out,
In the minds of many adults, viewing pornography is not a neutral experience. When asked about the potential benefits of pornography use, many men and women seem to believe that pornography use can improve their sex lives. More than 50% of married men and more than 65% of those who are dating agree that pornography can help enhance foreplay. However, less than 40% of married women and less than 50% of dating women agree.
Almost half of those surveyed (47.6%) identified themselves as Christians, which means that a significant number of those who say they follow Christ not only consume pornography, but also think it is beneficial. Could this be a sign that pornography is becoming an “acceptable sin”?
in his book Respectable Sins: Let’s Confront Those Sins We Tolerate, Jerry Bridges defines a “respectable” sin as a sin that does not make us feel guilty very often and for which we will almost never be questioned. Examples of common respectable sins are slander and gossip. You will hardly ever be called out for those sins (especially on social media), you may even be mocked for thinking those sins are an affront to God.
Fortunately, pornography is not yet in the category of respectable sins. But it seems it’s becoming a sin acceptable, a sin that is tolerated within certain limits. For example, as this survey shows, far too many Christian men and women seem to believe that pornography is acceptable when they see it. togethersuch as sexual activity within their relationship.
Such couples need to remember two relevant truths. First of all, remember that although there are numerous reasons why you should not indulge in pornography, one of the most important being that it puts his soul in danger of hell. Scripture makes it clear that engaging in sexual immorality, including sinfully indulging in displays of sexual acts or body parts, will lead to eternal damnation (Mt 5:27-30).
«“Those who practice sexual immorality” includes people who indulge in pornography», says Andrew David Naselli (in English), who paraphrases 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 as: “Do not think that you can get away with a sinful lifestyle without repentance. Do not think that you can live like this and still be a citizen of the kingdom of God. Unrepentant sinful lifestyles do not characterize citizens of God’s kingdom.” Couples who use pornography must repent. Now.
Second, remember that you cannot love your spouse or romantic partner and encourage them to indulge in pornography. You cannot love your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend and encourage them to engage in unrepentant rebellion against God. You can’t truly love them and, for your own sexual gratification, get them to do something that will send them to hell. You may think you love them, but you’re kidding yourself. You don’t fool God.
Don’t buy the lie that pornography use between committed couples is an acceptable sin. It is a sin that will damage your relationship today and land you in hell tomorrow. Fortunately, it is a sin that can be covered by the blood of Christ (1 Jn 1:7). Repent and recommit to purity. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation: the old is gone, the new is here (2 Cor 5:17). Live by the truth you say you believe, while you still can.
Originally posted on The . Translated by Team Coalition.