Today we live in a world where there is an avalanche of falling in love, an avalanche of relationships, an avalanche of romantic dates, an avalanche of courtships, and it is very difficult for a Christian in such an environment not to fall under the pressure.
So it is very necessary to have a biblical perspective of what true love is. We were definitely born to love and be loved, but then, is there a Christian courtship? Are there differences in terms of what we now know as courtship? In this article we will deal with the true biblical courtship and the steps to achieve it in the perfect will of God.
Christian courtship is the relationship of a man and a woman that begins and continues for the purpose of marriage; under the care and supervision of the spiritual authorities of the church or of the parents.Therefore, biblical courtship is the commitment of a man and a woman towards marriage.
What does the Bible say about biblical Christian dating?
Christian courtship is very different from the concept we have of courtship in the world. We are generally used to seeing men and women who see courtship as something recreational, a relationship without commitments, where they have a “cool” time with each other.
Although the Bible does not exactly speak of the word courtship, it does speak of words similar to this that are betrothal (Deuteronomy 20:7), pact (Isaiah 50:1), dowry (Exodus 22:16-17), which are They refer to the betrothal before marriage.
Christian courtship has characteristics or biblical principles that every single believer must take into account to walk in the perfect will of God, these are:
1. Piety and Christian courtship
For there to be a Christian courtship, the first thing a couple must have is mercy or fear of God (2 Corinthians 5:17), if a couple does not have Christ or one of the two is an unbeliever, there will definitely not be a Christian courtship.
For an engagement to be Christian, it is necessary to be in Christ, and this goes far beyond a simple Christian confession or regularly attending a congregation. Being a Christian speaks of the transformative experience that arises from the preaching of the gospel, where one goes from being dead to having life in Christ, where one goes from being in rebellion with God to obeying God.
Godliness in courtship means that the man and the woman who are dating lead a life where Christ is forming the character of both, a true and palpable mercy where it can really be identified that both are believers.
Related: What is fornication in the Bible?, Meaning of modesty in the Bible?
Note: A courtship in which the couple does not have the symptoms of godliness such as a transforming experience, genuine repentance, and fruitful faith in the Lord is not considered Christian. And before physical appearance (Proverbs 11:22) godliness must be considered.
2. Paternity and youth courtship
It is no secret to anyone that dating in the world lacks paternity, in our current world dating relationships are governed by the couple in such a way that there is no one to set limits, where all kinds of sentimental relationships are practiced and there is a Lack of family supervision at all levels.
The Bible presents a biblical principle in contrast to the world. Worldly courtship does not want anyone’s supervision, but wants total freedom; however, Christian courtship must have supervision, because God through the family guides the future home.
Parents in a Christian courtship have the responsibility of collaborating, watching over, and morally and spiritually protecting their children so that they can arrive at marriage with purity and holiness. Two passages that we can find in the word are (Deuteronomy 7:3-4 and 1 Corinthians 7:36).
See here: Is God a person?, the Trinity in the Bible
Note: The Bible presents examples of wise parents who supervised their children in courtship and led them to success in the home (Genesis 24:2-4), but it also presents examples of parents who did not supervise their children in their relationships or that their Children rejected their parents’ guidance and disastrous results were obtained (Judges 14:1-3).
3. Sexual Purity in Courtship according to the Bible
For our generation, virginity until marriage is a completely outdated and out-of-date concept, today the concept is “if it gives you pleasure, do it”, in this way it is “common” and “normal” to hear of sexual relations in courtship or even with anyone.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:17-18 that our way of living must be totally different from the world. The believer belongs to Christ, therefore he needs to live differently in an anti-Christian world. In this way, the Christian must live honoring God, knowing that by doing so he will be blessed (Romans 8:28).
Sexual purity in courtship means that Christians who are being taught the truth must refrain, separate from, and avoid all types of contact and attitudes that promote the sexual passions of the flesh before marriage, because for God virginity and sexual purity are very important (2 Timothy 2:22; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Romans 13:14; Ecclesiastes 3:1).
Related article: the unequal yoke
Note: our modern culture has generated a host of social, family, and spiritual problems. The increase in pregnancies at a young age, the great increase in sexually transmitted diseases and mass abortions are the result of this reality.
4. Preparation in Courtship according to the Bible
In the world, romantic relationships at a general level are very precocious. Everywhere we see relationships of young people who are not prepared for certain responsibilities, who do not fulfill the purpose of courtship or Christian marriage.
Today the world does not talk about preparing for a home, in fact many Christians have also come to marriage without knowing what marriage was and have suffered the consequences of the lack of preparation. How many homes suffer because of the irresponsibility of a man, because of the bad character of a woman, because of the internal conflicts that are experienced within the marriage? So sometimes we say “but nobody told me”. That is why a Christian courtship must be prepared.
Preparation for courtship teaches us about the issues that must be formed before marriage in both believers. It is a basic and necessary preparation in character, spirituality, and vocation that every believing man and woman must have before reaching Christian marriage.
See here: baptism in the Bible
Note: Christian maturity also implies Christlikeness, wisdom, convictions, service, self-control, and acceptance of responsibilities (Luke 14:27-30).
5. Patience and Trust in God in Biblical Dating
In the world we can observe that sentimental relationships take an accelerated and dizzying course with total mistakes. To rush and err in sentimental relationships in the world is very common. We continually see and meet people who have had two, three, or even four homes. In addition to many women with children from different fathers.
Therefore, patience and trust in Christ (Hebrews 10:35-36) must be one of the great bulwarks of the Christian. Rushing to have a dating relationship with anyone will not be God’s will, but trust in the Lord will be rewarded. So a single man must fully trust in God who will bring blessing to his life.
Singles, young and old brothers must have an attitude of patience and trust in the sovereignty of God, knowing that God always has a perfect and wise plan for the Christian. Relationships and especially Christian courtship are not based on what we feel, nor on what we see (2 Corinthians 5:7). but in faith and in the time of the Lord.
Important: Today the world is so aggressive with its mundane and base principles that virginity and purity is a subject of mockery and ridicule. Yet for God to wait on him in purity and holiness is a wonderful thing.
Women in Christian Dating according to the Bible
Unfortunately, due to today’s culture, women are used to wanting to be attractive, sensual and the center of attraction for men.
Generally, non-believing women today tend to show themselves physically and through social networks. They do it in a seductive, cunning, attractive and sexual way; looking for likes and good comments. However, the Bible calls women with these characteristics “prostitutes”, those who want to show their attributes and be revered by men (Proverbs 7:10-13).
Related: The Spirit of Jezebel in the Bible
A Christian woman who wants to live a true Christian courtship must be a housewife, demure, simple, modest, discreet and formal. A Christian woman should not be characterized by showing her figure or physical attributes, but by being a woman who loves God above all things (1 Peter 3:3-4).
The man in Christian Dating according to the Bible
The man in today’s culture is one who is characterized by having several girlfriends at the same time, that Don Juan that no woman can resist his charms.
Generally this man uses his tricks to deceive women by promising fidelity and being different from all the others, however in his heart is evil and deceit with which he wants to satisfy his sexual and carnal desires (1 Corinthians 2:14-15 ).
See here: Can the Christian drink alcoholic beverages?
A Christian man who wants to live a true Christian courtship is a man of integrity, responsibility, fearing God and hard worker, who waits with longing and patience for the woman that God has for him (Proverbs 18:22)..
Steps to have a biblical Christian courtship
The principles that can be taken to have a biblical Christian courtship can be taken from Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 24:2-4) where Abraham asks his trusted servant to bring Isaac a wife, in this way biblically The male’s family takes an active attitude (Genesis 24:12). In the same way, the woman’s family (Genesis 24:50) must passively decide if the man is worthy of taking her daughter.
In this way, the Bible presents that God had prepared Isaac and Rebecca to be united in marriage and both wanted to do God’s will (Genesis 24:58-60). With these same principles you can follow the steps to have a biblical Christian courtship.
1. The man must take the initiative
The man in the bible always takes the initiative, the man must put on his pants and take the initiative, likewise the man’s family must be supporting this initiative. On the other hand, the woman must wait patiently at home, she must not be a flirtatious woman, but rather a decent one.
Note: Beloved sister, if God has a man for your life, you should not go looking for him, God himself will take him to your own home. Att: Rebecca.
2. The woman’s family must examine the man and approve him
The woman’s family should consider whether the man is a good proposition, should…