†œConsists of disclosing sexual acts, real or simulated… deliberately exhibiting them to third parties.† It denatures the intimacy of the sexual act. It seriously undermines the dignity of those who dedicate themselves to it (actors, merchants and the public). It is a sin against the Seventh Commandment.
Get rid of porn. 12 steps by Steve Wood
Here are twelve very important steps that, if carried out in their entirety, will go a long way toward eradicating your addiction:
1. Destroy all pornography you have. Destroy all pornographic magazines, videos, floppy disks, and all Internet pornographic references and files from your computer. Do it right now!
2. Take radical steps to reorient your life. Sexuality embraces all aspects of the human person. Therefore, if you find yourself under the influence of a life-dominating sexual sin, such as porn addiction, you will need to take radical steps to reorient your life. You must develop a protection plan in order to avoid remote and proximate occasions of sin. This could mean: shopping around different stores to avoid even looking at anything related to porn; take a different route home; break any routine that could lead to sin; carry small amounts of cash; cancel subscriptions to newspapers containing advertisements for lingerie; cancel certain cable channels – or ditch cable entirely; and/or stop †œscanning† channels. Take these steps right now!
3. Find a priest to work with you. Try to find a priest who has experience helping people overcome addictions to porn. Make frequent use of the Sacrament of Penance. Be honest and open. Remember, a priest cannot diagnose a cure unless he is supplied with all the facts.
4. Find a responsible friend. Find at least one responsible friend who you can count on 24 hours a day if necessary. The phone can help you avoid temptation in vulnerable moments. This phone strategy is similar to that of Alcoholics Anonymous, where a person tempted to return to alcoholism can call a friend at any time and ask for prayer and encouragement. It might also be helpful to get a daily (or even morning and evening) check-in call from your responsible friend. At a minimum, your friend should ask you each week if you have kept yourself free from sexual sin. This responsibility is invaluable in helping you through times of temptation.
Douglas Weiss, a recovered sex addict and nationally recognized speaker on sexual addiction, has stated, “I have not experienced, nor have I known anyone who has experienced recovery from sexual addiction on their own.” Don’t be tempted. to skip steps #3 and 4. You will need the help of others in order to have any realistic hope of eradicating your addiction.
5. Begin a life of daily reading of the Holy Scriptures. There is no quick and easy way to erase porn from your mind. It only took a few †œclicks† to get involved in it, but it will take some time and mental discipline to get out of it. One reason for the extreme difficulty of erasing pornographic images from the mind is that when a man watches pornography, a chemical called epinephrine is released in the brain. This emission of epinephrine causes a deep impression of the visual image to be stored in the brain. When an act of self-stimulation accompanies the viewing of pornography, an even greater release of epinephrine occurs, thus making the impression of the image even more marked. Such images can haunt a man for decades. Rest assured, there is a way out of porn addiction – but don’t be fooled by the promise of an easy way out.
The Holy Scriptures can supernaturally transform your mind. This is not a theory, it really works! “Indeed, the Word of God is alive and effective, more penetrating than a double-edged sword. It penetrates to the root of soul and spirit, searching the bones and marrow to probe the innermost desires and thoughts† (Hebrews 4:12).
6. Learn to discern and combat spiritual attacks. Sexual addictions and pornography open a person to the influence of evil spirits. Before a spiritual attack begins, you may be struggling with your own lustful thoughts. A spirit attack begins when a spirit silently intrudes into your mind, adding intensity to your lustful thoughts, or instilling additional thoughts. You will detect this happening when ordinary human lust arises and then suddenly takes on a life of its own and seems impossible to break.
If an episode of overwhelming lustful thoughts includes a spiritual attack, you will not be able to break it with mental effort alone. It is very easy to become discouraged and completely overwhelmed by lust and the accompanying spiritual attack. However, you can quickly break the power of the attack by first realizing what is happening, and then praying a prayer asking your guardian angel and Saint Michael the Archangel for spiritual protection.
One of the most difficult parts of defending against a spiritual attack is learning to be aware when it is happening. Spiritual attacks are covert operations that need to be disguised to achieve their goal. Ask God to give you continual discernment. After a spiritual attack ceases, your mental disciplines will still be needed to control your thoughts.
7. You will need God’s grace…lots of grace. The Sacraments, especially the Eucharist, are like rivers of living water that give strength to your soul. Take advantage of every opportunity to receive grace by frequenting the Sacraments. Also, use sacramentals such as: holy water and the holy cross.
If your job requires travel, then you know the additional temptations men face when they’re on the road. I recommend that you wear a crucifix or holy icon throughout your trip, and liberal use of holy water in your hotel room.
8. Vices and virtues are strengthened with practice. A porn addiction is never static. It starts with what seems like just a little fondness for digital pleasures. Without realizing it, you have already become hooked on technological temptations. Then you start looking for more graphic porn. As your consciousness desensitizes, the images that were repugnant to you when you first began viewing porn will become alluring. The most dangerous step (often fatal to married and family life) is when men want to put into practice the images they have seen.
“Let me adjust my words to your natural weakness: there was a time when you made your members the slaves of impurity and injustice, and with that you became bad. The same now, make your members the slaves of good and thus you will become holy† (Romans 6:19).
9. Pray. Pray the Rosary frequently. In God’s plan, the Blessed Mother is going to crush the head of the serpent. Maria can play a vital role in neutralizing the poison of the serpent of pornography. “The supplication of the righteous has much power” (James 5:16).
10. Practical physical precautions. Your spiritual defenses weaken when you allow yourself to lose energy through too little sleep, or too much work and stress. If you find yourself fatigued, take a few extra precautions against temptations until you get your fitness back.
Too much alcohol or drug use will cloud your conscience and diminish your ability to act with good judgment. “Be sober and awake, because your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
An excessive amount of idle time and a lot of alone time make a fight against pornography more difficult. Fill your leisure time with uplifting services and other activities. You may need to make other sensible changes to reduce the amount of time you are alone.
11. Don’t give up after a relapse. An overwhelming outburst of guilt and discouragement may occur after a relapse. Should you fall into a sinful fault, you will need to be prepared for a violent onslaught of condemnation. The Bible calls Satan “the accuser” of Christians (Rev 12:10). After a relapse, Satan will be ready to bombard you with doubts about God’s love for his person. Saint Paul says †œalways have in your hand the shield of Faith, and thus you will be able to stop the incendiary arrows of the devil† (Ephesians 6:16). At this point, you will need to recall those Scripture verses about God’s unfailing love and mercy that you have memorized. Such verses can preserve you from condemnation and despair. (See the verses in the Scripture Memory Games for Pure Minds, and read Psalm 51 and Romans 8:31-39.)
12. Get help from your wife.
Your wife probably already knows about your addiction and is emotionally overwhelmed by it. You are probably just kidding yourself by lying to her wife about her addiction to porn. Stop lying to him.
Lying to your wife about where you have been, where you have spent money, or denying your use of pornography will destroy trust and further weaken your marriage. Many wives find that lying about pornography is just as devastating as the addiction itself. You will need your wife’s patience, her prayers, and her perseverance to help you overcome this addiction. Lying can destroy your marriage. Stop lying to him and tell him the truth, even if it’s humiliating. Most wives are willing to help their husbands overcome an addiction – if their husbands are honest with them. A humble and honest husband will discover a valuable ally in overcoming pornography (See Ecclesiastes 4:12).
Stop shifting blame – it’s one of the oldest ways to avoid moral responsibility. (Remember the unacceptable excuse Adam gave God for eating the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3). His addiction to pornography is not his wife’s fault. Rather it is the result of his sinful moral choices. The Path to Repentance and Recovery It begins when you take responsibility for your actions.
“Do not deny yourselves the right of each other…