Forgiveness is a recurring theme in the Bible and it is the basis of our relationship with God. All of God’s children have experienced it and our hearts are full of gratitude for it.
However, even after feeling the power of forgiveness in us, we must admit that it is not easy to forgive. Many times, before forgiving we need to go through a long and painful process. God does not leave us alone, he accompanies us and helps us. In him we have the perfect example of love and forgiveness. Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians, exhorts us…
Rather, be kind and compassionate to one another, and forgive each other, just as God forgave you in Christ.
— Ephesians 4:32
We understand that God wants us to live in lovethat we forgive those who offend us. However, there are situations in which it seems impossible for us to forgive. Let’s look at some of the myths that can prevent us from forgiving and see what the Bible says about it.
1. To forgive means to accept
Forgive It is not accept or excuse the wrong that another person has done to you. No way! We forgive to be free of resentment. We decide to move forward without allowing another person to have power over our actions or emotions.
When we forgive, we give God all our pain, sure that he will take care of justice at the right time. We allow God to transform usmay he fill us with his Holy Spirit and we continue forward trusting in his goodness.
Never say: “I will take revenge for that damage!” Trust in the Lord, and he will act for you.
— Proverbs 20:22
Sin always brings consequences and the person who has hurt us will have to live with the consequences of his mistake. Many times we have to decide to separate ourselves from that person to prevent them from continuing to cause us pain. Forgive No it forces us to be friends or to maintain a close relationship with the other person.
The prudent see the danger and avoid it; the inexperienced go ahead and suffer the consequences.
–Proverbs 22:3
Even after deciding to forgive we must act with prudence. We must pray for the other person and ask God for wisdom to know if it is time to seek reconciliation or if it is better to wait. Many times the wisest thing is to wait until God does his transforming work in the other person.
2. First they have to apologize to me
We think that it is not possible to forgive until we are asked for forgiveness. That is not true, we can do it even if the other does not apologize. We can also choose to take the first step (Matthew 5:23-26). we choose get rid of anger and bitterness for our own good and in obedience to God. The truth is that it would be terrible if forgiveness depended on the repentance of the other person: there are people who die without apologizing or acknowledging their mistakes.
God gave us the best example. He took the initiative by sending Jesus even before we asked forgiveness for our sins. We offended him with our actions and words, but he extended his hand full of forgiveness and patiently waited for our repentance. In the same way we can decide to forgive even before the other person repents. We cannot control what others do, but we can control our actions and reactions. Let us decide to follow the example of our Father!
But God, who is rich in mercy, out of his great love for us, made us alive with Christ, even when we were dead in sins. By grace you have been saved!
— Ephesians 2:4-5
Have you received God’s forgiveness?
3. To forgive you have to forget
You’ve probably heard the phrase “forgive and forget.” It means that if we truly forgive, we forget the offense. This makes us feel guilty because if we are sincere, even after forgiving, we remember what happened. This is so because God has given us the memory that serves, for example, to protect us from falling again into past mistakes or dangerous situations. Memories help us know what situations to run from.
What does happen when our forgiveness is genuine is that we allow God heal our hearts and that remove all pain, resentment or bitterness product of the offense. The desire for revenge does not control our thoughts. Although we feel sadness for what happened, there is no grudge. We have handed over the situation to God and continue forward trusting in his justice, firm in our faith.
4. Forgiveness shows weakness
Quite the contrary: forgiveness shows the character of Christ, that he reigns in our hearts. We show that the other person and their attitudes do not control us. We ask Jesus to help us become more like him and live according to his will. Something we see in the Bible (for example, in the Our Father prayer) is that God commands us to forgive and love our enemies if we want to receive forgiveness from him. So we forgive out of obedience to God rather than giving in to our emotions.
Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, saints and loved ones, clothe yourselves with tender affection and goodness, humility, kindness and patience, so that you bear with one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord forgave you, forgive you too.
— Colossians 3:12-13
When we forgive instead of seeking revenge, we show that the Spirit of God dwells in us and that with his power and love we overcome hatred and resentment.
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-control.
— 2 Timothy 1:7
Choose to forgive with God’s help!
Receive encouragement as you read about 3 biblical characters transformed by God’s forgiveness.
You may be interested in these 40 verses about forgiveness in the Bible.