Years ago, a close friend told me: «Flavia, I don’t think I know you. If you’re my friend, but you never talk about your struggles or open your heart, I don’t know who you really are.” Although it was a comment that was painful, it helped me in the process of learning to bring my emotions and thoughts to the feet of the Lord.
It was difficult to live without reflecting on my emotions in the light of the Word during the first years of my youth. Today I look back and think: “If only I had run to the Lord with my emotional struggles before…”. However, God is faithful and his timing is perfect. That is why I am grateful for his opportune work at each stage of my life. Today I can value my emotions and, through the work of the Holy Spirit, confront them in the light of Scripture and take them to our good Father so that He can transform them for his glory.
That is why I am grateful for the books that guide me in this process. One of them is: Don’t waste your emotions: How what you feel brings you closer to God and gives him glory (B&H Español, 2023), written by Alejandra Sura, who studied a Master’s in Biblical Counseling from Westminster Theological Seminary (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania). This new resource helps us better understand our emotions for the glory of our Creator, thanks to its robust biblical foundation.
Don’t waste your emotions
Alejandra Sura
Don’t waste your emotions
Alejandra Sura
B&H Spanish. 302 pages.
B&H Spanish. 302 pages.
Understanding our emotions
“Emotional management” or “control your emotions” are expressions that have been used more frequently in recent years. Although they are not incorrect, they could lead us down unfortunate paths if we do not exercise a critical and biblical attitude towards them. By not doing so, the worldview we will get about our inner life and how to manage our emotions will be wrong.
Sura reminds us in his book that postmodernism communicates a message that has Christian overtones and tells us: “If you control your emotions and your thoughts, you will achieve healing.” However, believers know that the only cure for this broken world is Christ, his work and the fulfillment of his eternal promises. That is why the objective of this book is not that you learn to “heal” your emotions or your inner being, but rather that it seeks to guide us to understand this truth:
God speaks to emotions in fascinating and revealing ways that are key to understanding our existence. Our feelings and emotions are vehicles for relating to Him in an intimate and profound way, and we have been created for that relationship” (p. 9).
Our final purpose as human beings is not to heal our emotions to be happy, but “glorify God and enjoy him forever” (Westminster Larger Catechism), who will completely heal our souls in eternity future. as you read Don’t waste your emotionsyou will begin to experience this final purpose, and you will grow in awe of our Savior and in the relevance of His person in your emotional life.
Surah points out that When it comes to looking at our hearts, “there are two extremes we need to avoid: extreme introspection or neglect of the need to reflect” (p. 10). To help us find a balance, he divided his book into fifteen chapters that richly address this topic.
It begins by defining what emotions are and delves into the biblical truth that God designed and created us with emotions. In addition, it highlights the importance of taking the time to analyze and confront them when we find ourselves in the middle of a conflict. This is something that can make a difference to solve it in a way that is pleasing to God and that we enjoy a fruit of peace and justice. The author also reflects on the difficulty that churches have in managing emotions and how to deal with this problem.
Then, there are two chapters in which the emotions of Jesus and his circumstances are analyzed. Without a doubt, «Jesus Christ, our perfect model, his inspired Word and general revelation offer us a more complete, comprehensive and exciting treatment of the subject of emotions. Jesus is our greatest and best example of how to deal with our emotions» (p. 16).
In the following chapters, the author delves into the constitution of human nature (the components of our being: mind, affections and will) and how drop It affects us. However, if we have believed the gospel, we know that “God has given us a new heart so that, depending on His Holy Spirit, we can develop the skills that help us pay attention to our emotions, motivations, and thoughts” (p. 17). Faced with this reality, we can ask ourselves about our motivations and if we honor God in the midst of our circumstances.
The final chapters develop more practical topics to know the heart in detail and, thus, get the best out of your emotions. The author talks about three means of grace (the path of lamentation, the path of repentance and the path of gratitude) that we disciples of Christ can take to resolve our internal messes and redirect our hearts towards the Lord (p. 229; cp Jn 14:26-28; 16:33).
At the end you will find tools that explain how you can biblically process your emotions, how to reach Christ and how to take advantage of each situation to give him glory.
Although Don’t waste your emotions has an entire chapter dedicated to practical issues, the author leaves pertinent reflection questions at the end of each chapter. There are very clear graphs and charts that explain the essential topics to analyze your emotions. You will realize that very quickly you will be interacting with the text.
let’s know the truth
Sura writes many warnings about not wasting emotions, but there is one in particular that both confronts me and encourages me:
Be more aware of ourselves (of our emotions)Could it help us live a “better life”? Of course. However, the human being does not flourish having a better life, he flourishes knowing and acknowledging God in his walk. It is useless to have a wonderful life here on earth if we lose eternal life. Not knowing what God says, not taking his input into account, not submitting to His definition of reality, and not seeking His guidance in all our paths is the definition of rebellion and lack of wisdom. The guarantee not to fall into emotional confusion is based on our knowledge of the Bible (p. 218, emphasis added).
With these truths in mind, I tell my counselees: «If we do not cultivate a daily life of Bible reading, prayer and intimacy with our God, we do not expect to achieve great changes and advances. Everything in our life must be filtered in the light of the Word”. The same happens with our interior. Knowing, confronting and changing our emotions according to God’s purpose will not be possible without knowing the truth of what He says about them in His Word.
We believers want to know God in a deeper way, because that is and should be our greatest desire and delight. As Sura teaches us in this book, knowing God’s purpose for your emotions will help you identify with your Savior and develop an ever closer and deeper friendship with Him.
final words
I do not want to finish without remembering the importance of the local community of believers so as not to waste your emotions. Although the author does not emphasize this issue, she makes it clear that the Bible indicates that our identity is not individualistic, but rather, by nature, communal: «We are part of a local body of Christ, where we must walk in transparency and with the intention to support each other in our weaknesses and sufferings» (p. 290).
With this in mind, I encourage you to take advantage of this book, Don’t waste your emotionswhich will help you look up and help those around you who are in need of knowing and remembering who they are in Christ.