It is not news that equal pay between men and women is a current and sensitive issue that has aroused many disputes, especially in recent years. This discussion is part of the issue of the role of women in society, an issue that has even permeated some sectors of the church.
As Christians, we must seek to be shaped by Scripture in order to give the subject a biblical reading. We need biblical truth not only to inform us and give us guidelines, but also that it be like the lens through which we interpret and understand our reality.
Now, what happens when a wife earns more money than her husband? As Christians who believe in the biblical roles that God assigns to each spouse, how should we view this scenario? How should we think about it?
I think we can address this scenario by pointing to two possible temptations that each spouse may face in the event that a wife earns more money than her husband.
the temptations of the wife
There are several things that the wife will have difficulty with. It is important to maintain a biblical focus.
1. The temptation to feel more authoritative than her husband
One of the possible temptations for a wife who earns more than her husband is to think that she is superior and now has more power and authority than him. The wife who brings in more money than her spouse may be tempted to think that she is in charge of the home or to believe that she is beating her husband in a competition.
The Christian woman must keep in mind that God’s design for marriage and the roles He assigned to each spouse are not subject to change and do not depend on the different circumstances that arise. That is to say, the call for the subjection of the wife does not end and is not reduced because she brings home more money. The godly wife wants to please God and that begins by acknowledging the leadership of her husband, honoring the biblical design for women.
Therefore, even when she earns more than him, she will always understand and joyfully embrace the role that God calls her to fulfill. From a practical aspect, this implies that the pious wife will give her husband her place, she will allow herself to be led by him, and she will support her husband in the decisions he may make, including character decisions. monetary.
2. The temptation to let go of your responsibility at home
Another of the potential temptations for a wife who earns more money than her husband is to cut herself off from home affairs. In fact, this is often a temptation for any wife who works outside the home.
It is clear that the biblical design in the family is that the wife is the one in charge of the domestic affairs of her house. Although it is not the wife herself who does these tasks all the time, she is responsible before God for this. The description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 suggests that most of her responsibilities revolve around her home. Furthermore, according to Paul, discipling the younger women had to do with teaching them how to behave and how to manage things in their home (Tit. 2:3-5).
On the other hand, we must affirm that the Bible does not prohibit women from working outside the home. Theologian Douglas Wilson says that “the Bible does not teach that a woman’s place is in the home; the Bible requires that home be her priority, but she is not limited to just home.”
Now, it is true that on many occasions the wife must go out to work and that can represent a greater burden for her. But even so, the truth is that the wife is still responsible before God for her home. This does not mean that, even working outside of it, she should have the same degree of involvement in household chores, since that would be very difficult and unfair for her. In this case, the husband will have to be sensitive, supportive, reach some agreements, and look with his wife for the most viable ways for these tasks to be carried out. A little common sense and advance planning can go a long way for the wife and the home.
Author Martha Peace best captures this truth in her book The excellent wife. In her chapter about her wife’s responsibilities, she says:
“A godly wife is organized and works hard to run her home with as little clutter as possible. She also creates an upbeat and joyful environment for her family. God has always intended the home to be the domain of the wife. Unfortunately, this topic is not very popular in our culture but God proposed and still maintains that the wife be keeper of her house (Tit. 2: 5)”.
The temptations of the husband
In the same way, the husband must be aware of situations that may be problematic.
1. The temptation to feel less authoritative than your wife
For the husband who earns less, the possible temptation will be the opposite: to feel inferior to his wife and to think that she is now the one who has the authority in the home. In this pragmatic society that values utility and productivity more, the husband can be tempted with a strong inferiority complex towards his wife, and feel less than her. He may feel that he has lost authority or that he now shares authority with the woman.
The Christian husband must also remember the divine design for the family and the leadership that God has given him. The husband’s leadership is not dependent on the amount of money he brings into the home, and his authority as head is not determined by a check (Eph. 5:22-24).
It is true that this situation can be more challenging if the husband is not a leader in the home or has not been a good provider in the past. Still, the solution is the same: return to God’s blueprint for marriage, trust God, and conform to His wise purpose. The husband must assume the responsibility that God has given him as head of the home. His wife earning more money does not diminish her responsibility and does not compromise her leadership.
2. The temptation to abandon your responsibility as a supplier
Another possible temptation for a husband who makes less money than his wife is to disregard his responsibility as provider in the home. That is, ignore the call to be the main provider of her house. The man may be tempted to take the back seat and let the wife drive the family provision.
This would be a great sin because, before God, man is called to care for and support his own. The very nature of man, his physical makeup, confirms that truth. His protective instinct and his bodily strength point us in that direction. As Pastor Miguel Núñez explains:
“Among the characteristics typically observed in the male sex we find leadership, strength, confrontation, independence, the ability to be a provider, and protector. A large number of these qualities symbolize responsibilities given by God, who created man to reflect aspects of the Creator in him.”
The Christian husband is called the head of his wife, just as Christ is the head of his Church (Eph. 5:21-33). This refers to the leadership to which God calls each Christian husband. The husband is to assume this leadership as Christ does the church, which is her bride: loving her sacrificially, protecting her from her, and providing for her.
That is, one of the ways in which man fulfills his responsibility before God is by being a provider for his house. This does not mean that a husband who earns less than his wife is not fulfilling his responsibility. But it does mean that man must ensure by all means that he assumes the task of providing for his own. As John Piper explains: “Headship is the husband’s divine calling to take primary responsibility for servant leadership, protection and provision in the Christlike home.”
final word
Finally, believers must thank God for his provision. This possible scenario, of a wife earning more than her husband, must first strengthen our trust and dependence on God. Her care and provision for him are an expression of his parental love, and the means she uses are also an expression of his wisdom.
The author of Hebrews calls us to trust in the Lord saying: “Let your character be without covetousness, content with what you have, for He Himself has said: ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you'” (Heb. 13:5). . God promised not to forsake us!
Therefore, if the wife earns more than the husband in a home, the first thing we should do is celebrate, thank the Lord for His provision, and continue depending on Him. This truth should always shape our conversation in these cases.
douglas wilson, reforming marriage (Faro de Gracia Publications, 2014), p. Four. Five.
MarthaPeace, The excellent wife (Faro de Gracia Publications, 2008), p. 74.
Catherine Scheraldi de Núñez and Miguel Núñez, sexual revolution (B&H Spanish, 2018), p. fifteen.
John Piper, Marriage Pact (Tyndale House, 2009), p. 71.
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